I would be naïve to say I thought traveling with a child (let alone a baby) would be easy or even in the ballpark of “ok.” But, the truth is, I went into the entire experience expecting my excruciating hours of planning and weeks of analyzing every possible roadblock would fully prepare me - oh how foolish I used to be.

I bet you’re asking, “Ok Lisa, so tell me. Break it down for me. What is the secret sauce to having that perfectly executed trip with little ones in tow?” You expect me to have this magical plan to ensure that your trips post-children do not have to change. You’ll be free to galivant the world with not a care. Well, you are in luck - because after years of traveling (solo, with my children, and with larger parties), I have finally discovered the secret to optimum travel in your post-children world. Are you ready for you it? Here it goes:

The secret to ensure your post-child travels are exactly as you remember from your pre-child life is … give up and give in.

The truth is - the way you travel and they way you think about travel needs to change. If you try to accomplish everything you did before children in the exact same way, you’re going to end up anxious, stressed, and (worst of all) hating travel. BUT, if you learn to give up the ways you used to travel (perhaps needing to plan a little bit more in areas you aren’t used to or modifying the accommodations to better fit your family) and give in to an entirely new (and exciting) way to experience travel, you’ll make incredible memories in ways you never thought you would. And, at the same time, give in to the fact that you will fail. Believe me - you will! BUT, maybe with a few of these tips, failure won’t seem like checkmate. Here are some lessons I’ve learned after a whole lot of failures.

Do’s and Don’ts for successful travel with children

Do build in buffer time is key (especially when they are young)!

If the road trip is 8 hours, plan for 12. Need to be at the airport by 10 and it takes thirty minutes to get there, leave by 8:30. It’s going to take you twice as long to get out the door because the baby will inevitably have a diaper explosion right before you get out the door and your toddler can’t find that one stuffed animal they are in love with this hour. And, as soon as you get everyone buckled in and your pulling out of your driveway, your preschooler will immediately need to pee. AND, if everything goes smoothly and you’re actually on the road when you plan to be, you’ll hit some sort of traffic because, that’s life (at least in my experience).

Don’t skip the naps!

If your child is in the napping phase, don’t expect them to take a vacation from naps when you’re traveling. (Side note: I miss the nap phase. That random, middle of the day break where your child sleeps and you can enjoy a cup of hot coffee. My daughter was NEVER a good napper, but even when I only got an hour out of her, it was a vacation of it’s own). But back to my point - allow time for naps. Head back to your hotel for a midday break or, if breaks aren’t possible, be sure to have a comfortable stroller that reclines on-hand. Keep in mind, it’s sensory overload when you travel. You may be surprised to see your child who hasn’t napped in years passing out in the stroller.

And honestly, it’s actually a pleasant break from the nonstop vacation can be to just sit in air conditioning or enjoy a leisurely stroll just taking in the sights around you. On our first trip to Disney World, both children napped in the stroller for two hours at the same time. We took advantage of it and just grabbed a beer and walked around EPCOT Flower and Garden Festival, enjoying the flowers. It was amazing to simply slow down.

Do pack snacks / Don’t show your kids the snacks!

*(Abigail, age 2, enjoying the last of the snacks just two hours into what will be a never ending road trip.)*

Load up on all the snacks you can think of. Once you think you have enough, double it - trust me! This goes for both road trips and planes. For some reason, traveling makes kids hungry. Well, it also makes me hungry but that’s besides the point. (Ok, pack some snacks for you too). But, remember, as soon as your kid sees the snacks, they will go into full starvation mode, claiming they are wilting away - even though you literally just left the house, and had breakfast 10 minutes ago. (And if you’re kid is NOT like this, please tell me your secrets!). So, hide those snacks and pull out just one when they ask for something.

Don’t forget spare clothes

Even if your child has not had an accident in years. Even if your child is the cleanest eater - never spilling any milk all over their shorts (I envy you by the way if this is the case). Something will happen. Their shoes will pinch for some odd reason. They’ll be too sweaty for that particular dress. It’s noon and immediately need to stop wearing green or else the world will end (toddlers are a blast!). Or, your fully trained preschooler will just randomly pee at the exit of a ride in Magic Kingdom or outside of the grocery store because, why not. Ok those may have been my fault - we had skipped the nap step and she was EXHAUSTED, but still.

And finally, Do remember this is your vacation too!

Too often I hear parents talk about the large sums of money they spent on a vacation that the children enjoyed. They’ll talk about the kids running in a splash zone, their first time on a carousal, or seeing a character at an amusement park. But as soon as I ask them about their own opinion, they are quick to mention that if the kids are happy then that is all that matters. We need to STOP thinking like this - I mean, yes, your children being happy is important because we all know the nightmare when the kids are not happy - But so your happiness is just as important. You’re paying for this trip! You’re taking time off of work to go away. You’ve arrange pet-care (if you have pets). YOU deserve to enjoy it. And, to be honest, your kids are going to have a good time if you’re having a good time. TRUST ME.